


Interview

by Evil_Little_Dog



Series: College Life [2]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Community: fma_fic_contest, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-04
Updated: 2014-01-04
Packaged: 2018-01-07 10:34:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1118876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evil_Little_Dog/pseuds/Evil_Little_Dog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary:  Maes thinks Ed needs to relax.<br/>Disclaimer:  Not mine, in so very many ways.  Drat it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Interview

The smells of Chinese food were redolent in the air, and the sounds of men enjoying their takeout filled the Delta House’s dining room. Food cartons scattered across the table, both cardboard and Styrofoam. Some of the guys used chopsticks, and the others ate with the plastic forks that came with the takeaways. At one end, Roy Mustang, President of the Deltas, lorded over the table, pinching his chopsticks together as precisely as if he was born to them. The cheap American beer next to his plate might’ve proved otherwise. 

At the other end of the table, as far away from the president as he could get, sat Edward Elric, surrounded by containers of various spicy foods and fried things, and a soft drink bubbling over onto the table, because Havoc dropped it on the floor, then opened it before the carbonation inside the bottle had a chance to settle. 

Maes Hughes took it upon himself to engage Edward in a little conversation. “Not to pry or anything,” he said, leaning across the table and poking his plastic fork at Edward.

He sneered at the fork. “You’re prying now.” 

“I’m eating,” Maes said, forking up some _mei fun_. He grinned, though, the lenses in his glasses gleaming. “But I’m just curious.” 

A fried dumpling halfway to his mouth, Edward asked, “About what?” 

The kid really was suspicious. Roy-boy needled Edward so much about it, and that never helped. Being a sixteen-year-old in college, it had to be hard, but Edward blew off offers of help, tossed obscene gestures at any advice, and blatantly worked hard at destroying idiots who got in his way. Maes liked him; hell, he didn’t know anyone who didn’t like Edward, despite his foul-mouthed, easily-irritated, ways. The kid was genius level smart, had more daddy issues than anyone Maes had ever met, and was likely to blow up over the least little insult, but there was something in him that drew people like Maes had never seen. Edward’s little brother had the same quality, except wrapped up in a slightly more attractive package – Alphonse was sweet, kind, and absolutely deadly when riled. 

Maes tried to go for ‘curious older brother’. “I’m looking out for your best interests, don’t get your panties in a wad.” 

“Don’t wear panties,” Edward growled, and bit the dumpling in half with a decidedly loud ‘click’ of his teeth. 

“It’s a figure of speech, Fullmetal,” Roy said, from the other end of the table. “Like ‘short stuff’.” 

Edward didn’t even pause as he reached for an egg roll, his middle finger flashing down the table at Roy. “Fuck you.” 

“Only if you ask nicely,” Roy made a kissing sound, and Maes reached across the table corner to grab Edward’s shoulder. 

“Roy, shut up, you’re not helping,” he shouted. 

“Fuck you,” Roy said, grinning. 

“Not on the table.” Maes turned to Edward. The kid had already gone back to eating, though his narrowed eyes, down-turned mouth, and tense shoulders all spelled out ‘trouble’ to Maes. Roy really had to stop teasing Ed, or he was going to wind up the butt of some colossal prank, or beat down, or both. “Look, Ed, I was just going to ask, if your girl’s coming up for the Snowflake Dance.”

“Winry’s coming,” Edward said through gritted teeth. “Why?”

“Well, you’ve been awfully tense, lately, and I was thinking she might be able to do something to alleviate that.”

“Aw, yeah,” Havoc said, a blissful expression crossing his face. “And your girlfriend is smokin’ hot, Ed.” 

Edward’s teeth ground together audibly as he said, “Keep your eyes and your mitts off of Winry.” 

“Oh, ho, someone’s touchy.” Daring to spear one of Edward’s fried dumplings, Havoc popped it into his mouth. “You gotta giffa girl a choice,” he said, around the dough and seasoned pork. 

“I’ll give you a choice,” Edward snarled, rising halfway to his feet, “leave Winry alone, or else.” 

Havoc’s smiled broadened as he gulped down the dumpling. “He’s so damned feisty.”

“Relax, Ed, he ain’t touching your girl,” Breda broke in, “he’s blowing hot air. Besides, if he looked sideways at her, you think Hawkeye and Olivia would let him keep his balls?” 

Skin turning green, Havoc gulped again, for an entirely different reason. “Oi. That’s not fair, Breda!”

Breda ignored him, using his chopsticks to scoop out some rice from a cardboard box, and sweet and sour pork from another. “You’re a hound, Havoc, hounds have to be smacked on the nose to teach ‘em a lesson.” He showed some teeth to his fellow Delta. “And you know how much I like hounds.” 

Havoc flipped him off, but fell back into his chair, toying with what was left of his order. Maes focused on Edward. “So, anyway, about your girl and relaxing you.” The narrow-eyed glare sent his way boded no good at all, but Maes persevered. He was stupid that way, he knew. “You have had sex before, right?”

“Prying again, Hughes!” Edward barked out, but his cheeks tinged pink. 

“Come on, Hughes, you know Edward’s no virgin,” Roy shouted from his end of the table. “Siren and Lust will be happy to share their information about just how long his -”

Maes interrupted before Roy could go too far. Again. “Oh, right, Siren and Lust did take advantage of you.”

Havoc whistled appreciatively while Edward grumbled under his breath, not denying it. Maes wondered briefly what had actually happened with that memory card. Considering the photos hadn’t shown up anywhere on campus, Edward had to have gotten rid of the card. Not like Ed was the type to gloat over past conquests, and it was more their conquest of him than the other way around. Probably destroyed the evidence, it’s what Maes would’ve done. 

“Does any of this crap have a point, Hughes?” Edward growled, stabbing his chopsticks into a dumpling to keep Havoc from snagging it. He stuffed the dumpling into his mouth in triumph.

“Just trying to decide if I need to hire you a hooker or not,” Maes said, making Edward choke on his food. “For that rising blood pressure you’ve got going on.” 

It took Breda and Havoc to pry Ed off him. 


End file.
